What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, Woodrow Wilson, Franklin D. Roosevelt and 21 of the first 23 astronauts to go on U.S. space flights have in common? Answer: They were all either the first-born or only child in their respective families. 

Also, 60% of National Merit Scholarship finalists are first-born, and they tend to be the most likely to go to college. Does this mean that first-born children are smarter? Answer: Not really. 

You may think that you treat all of your children equally. However, there is good evidence that parents treat children in the same family quite differently. They have different expectations and tolerance levels as they become more experienced and relaxed in their parenting styles. Here are some “general” observations regarding first-born/only children and their parents:

·        Parents are more tense and intense.

·        Parents do more photographing, holding, talking and worrying.

·        Parents have high expectations for achievement…and low tolerance for misbehavior.

·        First-borns tend to be more serious and more responsible.

·        First-borns are often more cautious and introverted.

·        First-borns frequently resent younger siblings, harboring hostility as they compete for parental attention and approval.

·        First-borns tend to be more sensitive.

·        First-borns are usually rule-followers.

·        First-borns like to be controlling…resulting in bossiness and sometimes physical aggressiveness.

·        First-borns make good leaders

          The impact of birth order somewhat depends on the size of the family. In large families, the first-born child tends to take on additional roles. Often he/she is the protector, leader, and disciplinarian to the younger children in the family.

          There are, of course, exceptions—because parents and children are all different. Nothing is inevitable. But these observations serve to remind us that each child is unique, and has unique needs. 

          Next month’s Brethren Beacon takes a look at the Middle-child.