The English word gift comes from the Greek work charis, which means “grace or an undeserved gift.” A true gift is not payment for a task well done; rather it is an expression of love for the child “just because.”
Most children respond positively to receiving gifts, but for some it is their primary love language. These children will make much ado about the gift. They will want the present to be wrapped or given in a creative way. They may fuss over the wrappings as they open it. They will want your undivided attention. The whole experience will be a big deal!
This love language differs somewhat from the others. For parents to genuinely convey the language of gifts, the other four languages must also be present. These children are high maintenance, needing smaller doses of physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, and service.
A word of caution…it’s often tempting to shower children with gifts as a “substitute for the other love languages. For many reasons (jobs, activities, past history), some parents resort to presents rather than being available to their children. Here are some guidelines to follow:
· Gifts should be sincere expressions of love, not payment for services rendered.
· Except for Christmas and birthdays, many gifts should be chosen by both you and your children.
· Remember that not all gifts come from a store.
It is not the cost of the gift that matters. It is how carefully it is chosen and the spirit in which it is given. Here are just a few ideas:
· Keep a small cache of inexpensive gifts stashed away, and give them as you feel the need.
· Start a collection of unusual and interesting boxes and wrapping paper that can be used to package even the smallest gifts.
· Give personally made coupons for your child to redeem as he/she feels the need…favorite dinners, extra bedtime story, time to play a favorite board game.
· Hide a small gift or note in your child’s lunchbox.
Your children may not realize now how much you are giving, but as they grow older, they may look back and realize that your love and presence has been the best gift of all.
Linda Morgan, Parish Nanny