Quality time is focused attention. It conveys this message: “You are important. I like being with you.” The most important factor in quality time is not the event itself, but that you are doing something together, being together. Children who have this as their primary love language will do anything to get a parent’s attention! To these children, even negative attention is better than no attention at all.
Parents often see children’s attempts to get attention as intrusions. They may even “lose it” and send the child to his room, thus depriving him of the very thing he is seeking…love via quality time. You may be asking yourself this: “What am I to do? Is it possible to love my child and still get my own work done?” The answer is YES. Ten to fifteen minutes of quality time before you start your work could satisfy your child and allow you to finish your work in peace.
If you have several children, you need to look for times when you can be alone with each one. Several months ago a Nanny article appeared entitled “It’s a Date”. There were suggestions for how to make this happen. Dig through your old issues of The Brethren Beacon and refresh your memory.
One thing is certain. It takes planning. In our fast-paced world, time for each other often falls by the wayside. You must not let this happen for any child, but especially for the child whose primary love language is quality time. You are a critical key in assuring your children’s balance, stability, and happiness for the rest of their lives!
Linda Morgan, Parish Nanny